On motivation
Posted February 8th, 2010 at 05:25 PM by Brian
Tags doctor, life, motivate, motivation, sick
This week is pay the doctors week. Blown nearly $200 on doctor visits when I’m trying to save $ for next planned trip. Could have been more if I hadn’t gone to the university health centre to get my medication and saved on consultation charges. Spent another $75 getting an injection in my cheek for a keloid due to an acne scar that didn’t heal properly… and another $40 on the GP and antibiotics for an apparent ear infection making my left ear go ‘pop’ whenever I burp.
Darn, at this rate, I’m practically living to pay doctors. I should have aspired to become a doctor years ago when I was deciding what direction to take in life.
Anyway, I spoke to a long time friend yesterday who was kinda down because he felt nobody valued him and no matter how hard he tried, nobody ever takes him seriously (alright, I admit, including myself). I told him that it’s very easy to bring down one’s reputation and trustworthiness but takes much, much more effort to build back lost trust. In the past, he was the kind of person who didn’t take his studies seriously, dropped out of collage halfway and was always the joker in every social group.
Unfortunately the label stuck with him throughout the years, even though he has made some efforts to change for the better. The problem with him was that he wasn’t really consistent in improving himself. He all along believed that it was because he was a lazy person. I told him nobody is born lazy and laziness is just the tip of the iceberg. There must be an underlying issue that results in his laziness and lack of drive. I thought about it and tried to analysis with him about what the root problem was. It turned out (I am quite sure) that the problem was because he had no real motivation in life.
He is currently single, but once had a girlfriend. At that time, everyone around him could see that he really tried very hard to become a new person and that he mostly succeeded. He lost weight, became more image conscious, health conscious and behaved more gentlemanly, unlike the crude and loud guy he used to be. However, after he broke up with the girl, he turned back to his old ways.
I introduced him to Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and he read it. He was able to understand the habits but however unable to apply them faithfully and consistently. That’s why although he believed he had tried to improve himself, others don’t think so. He then proceeded on to read Covey’s new book The 8th Habit. I advised him against it because I thought it wasn’t wise to read a more advanced topic when he haven’t even mastered the basics. It was like taking a short cut, like trying to learn how to fire a gun when one doesn’t even know how to operate it safely. Something originally meant to ensure safety becomes a dangerous tool in an inexperienced person’s hands.
So anyway, I told him based on what I knew about him, the problem was that he had no good motivation or purpose in life. All his time beyond work is spent on recreation – video games, social gatherings, etc. He doesn’t think far ahead enough, and his attempts in self-improvement were always ad-hoc and inconsistent, probably because he had no real, pertinent and long term goals to work towards. His goals were always short-term and material ones, like wanting to save up for a new phone or PS3, XBOX, etc.
The problem with having short-term, materialistic motivations is that such motivations are never pertinent enough and essentially don’t hold much meaning. I have experienced it before, in those days when I was only motivated by money and things that could be bought with money. The funny bit was, whenever I achieved a goal of say a certain amount of revenue, I would immediately set a higher revenue target. I was never truly satisfied with what I got, because it is just so easy for the motivation to shift (to higher monetary levels). It was meaningless because while I believed that I could achieve happiness when I got a certain level of income and could afford to buy whatever I wanted, I slowly realised that I was as unhappy as when I was broke. It was so ironic.
I believe a real motivation is something on a higher, preferably spiritual level. It should be something that is long-term and pertinent, and as such is stronger. It should be something that cannot be measured in monetary terms, and cannot be quantified easily (otherwise it would be like what happened to me when I tried to race with myself to earn more money than ever). I believe money and material possessions will eventually come when one has found his true direction in life and works towards it with genuine passion and without focusing too much about material gains. Material gains are just by-products of successful living that will come naturally to those who deserve it by climbing up the correct ladders in life.
And regarding rebuilding trust in other people, I think it’s easy to lose someone’s trust but takes a lot more effort to rebuild it. It requires people to perceive a clear and consistent effort being made, and having a strong motivation in life would help in ensuring consistent effort.
For myself unfortunately, while I can preach well, I am still unable to find my own direction in life, like what I really want to do in terms of career. However I do at least have some long-term and less quantifiable motivations, such as wanting to migrate to somewhere better than New zealand one day and also to provide my loved ones with a good and happy life. This is enough reason and motivation to drive myself to work hard, work hard and reach for greater heights in the hope that one day I will be able to earn a reasonable income in a career that I like so that I can achieve my goals.
I believe that once a true motivation is made, everything else will fall into place. By keeping in mind one’s true motivation, one will work hard towards it. Although there are sometimes when one feels like giving up, if the motivation is strong, the strength to fight on will be there.
Darn, at this rate, I’m practically living to pay doctors. I should have aspired to become a doctor years ago when I was deciding what direction to take in life.
Anyway, I spoke to a long time friend yesterday who was kinda down because he felt nobody valued him and no matter how hard he tried, nobody ever takes him seriously (alright, I admit, including myself). I told him that it’s very easy to bring down one’s reputation and trustworthiness but takes much, much more effort to build back lost trust. In the past, he was the kind of person who didn’t take his studies seriously, dropped out of collage halfway and was always the joker in every social group.
Unfortunately the label stuck with him throughout the years, even though he has made some efforts to change for the better. The problem with him was that he wasn’t really consistent in improving himself. He all along believed that it was because he was a lazy person. I told him nobody is born lazy and laziness is just the tip of the iceberg. There must be an underlying issue that results in his laziness and lack of drive. I thought about it and tried to analysis with him about what the root problem was. It turned out (I am quite sure) that the problem was because he had no real motivation in life.
He is currently single, but once had a girlfriend. At that time, everyone around him could see that he really tried very hard to become a new person and that he mostly succeeded. He lost weight, became more image conscious, health conscious and behaved more gentlemanly, unlike the crude and loud guy he used to be. However, after he broke up with the girl, he turned back to his old ways.
I introduced him to Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and he read it. He was able to understand the habits but however unable to apply them faithfully and consistently. That’s why although he believed he had tried to improve himself, others don’t think so. He then proceeded on to read Covey’s new book The 8th Habit. I advised him against it because I thought it wasn’t wise to read a more advanced topic when he haven’t even mastered the basics. It was like taking a short cut, like trying to learn how to fire a gun when one doesn’t even know how to operate it safely. Something originally meant to ensure safety becomes a dangerous tool in an inexperienced person’s hands.
So anyway, I told him based on what I knew about him, the problem was that he had no good motivation or purpose in life. All his time beyond work is spent on recreation – video games, social gatherings, etc. He doesn’t think far ahead enough, and his attempts in self-improvement were always ad-hoc and inconsistent, probably because he had no real, pertinent and long term goals to work towards. His goals were always short-term and material ones, like wanting to save up for a new phone or PS3, XBOX, etc.
The problem with having short-term, materialistic motivations is that such motivations are never pertinent enough and essentially don’t hold much meaning. I have experienced it before, in those days when I was only motivated by money and things that could be bought with money. The funny bit was, whenever I achieved a goal of say a certain amount of revenue, I would immediately set a higher revenue target. I was never truly satisfied with what I got, because it is just so easy for the motivation to shift (to higher monetary levels). It was meaningless because while I believed that I could achieve happiness when I got a certain level of income and could afford to buy whatever I wanted, I slowly realised that I was as unhappy as when I was broke. It was so ironic.
I believe a real motivation is something on a higher, preferably spiritual level. It should be something that is long-term and pertinent, and as such is stronger. It should be something that cannot be measured in monetary terms, and cannot be quantified easily (otherwise it would be like what happened to me when I tried to race with myself to earn more money than ever). I believe money and material possessions will eventually come when one has found his true direction in life and works towards it with genuine passion and without focusing too much about material gains. Material gains are just by-products of successful living that will come naturally to those who deserve it by climbing up the correct ladders in life.
And regarding rebuilding trust in other people, I think it’s easy to lose someone’s trust but takes a lot more effort to rebuild it. It requires people to perceive a clear and consistent effort being made, and having a strong motivation in life would help in ensuring consistent effort.
For myself unfortunately, while I can preach well, I am still unable to find my own direction in life, like what I really want to do in terms of career. However I do at least have some long-term and less quantifiable motivations, such as wanting to migrate to somewhere better than New zealand one day and also to provide my loved ones with a good and happy life. This is enough reason and motivation to drive myself to work hard, work hard and reach for greater heights in the hope that one day I will be able to earn a reasonable income in a career that I like so that I can achieve my goals.
I believe that once a true motivation is made, everything else will fall into place. By keeping in mind one’s true motivation, one will work hard towards it. Although there are sometimes when one feels like giving up, if the motivation is strong, the strength to fight on will be there.
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